Admittedly, I’m a very preppy guy. My closet consists of basically the entire color spectrum of polos and four pairs of pants. Still, somebody told me recently that I have a “preppy face.” I’m mostly sure that it was meant as a compliment, but it would also be a pretty thinly disguised way to tell someone that they are a smug prick. "Preppy face..." what does that even mean? I hardly look patrician. If I was forced to guess, I would say that it means I look like every other frat guy that ever existed, slightly unkempt with an overpowering sense of entitlement for no good reason.
Anyway, I like the preppy look. It suits me… mostly. My biggest preppy shortcoming is that I could never pop my collar. I would like to be able to say that the reason is because popping collars is for hose-bags. (I’m pretty sure there is a hyphen in hose-bags.) But really it’s a lack of neck issue; my head merges seamlessly with my chest. A pop collar attempt and a little starch would have probably result in the loss of an ear.
If for some reason I had to abandon team Brooks Brothers I think I would be ironic t-shirt guy.
Plenty of upside to that look: dark rimmed glasses, poorly considered facial hair, girls that look like Lisa Loeb.
Downside too though; I think they make you wear tight pants.
Speaking of which I think my favorite product of the emo movement (besides the emasculating yet extremely enjoyable music) is the fat emo kid.
This guy is a comedic goldmine.
Stuffing yourself into size four girl’s jeans and layering on the mascara is even more non-conformist when you weigh 200 pounds.
This is probably the only sub-specie of emo kid who has a legitimate reason to be melancholy. For now I guess I’ll stick to the preppy look. Maybe get myself a madras sport coat and some salmon colored pants. That’s a look I can understand. Basically the goal is just to look as much as possible like an Easter egg while keeping a straight face. Whoever can wear a pink bow tie, yellow pants and suspenders without laughing wins. I’m not there yet, but these things take time. You have to build up a tolerance.
I freakin’ love using footnote for evil. Go team WASP!!!
Much like a tyrannosaur. Between that and the short arms I think that the T-Rex is probably the animal that I relate to most. At least he was the king of the dinosaurs. Some people are gazelles. Some are apes. I’m an extinct bird/lizard.
