Here’s a conversation that I’ve had with most of my friends at some point or another:
Dude 1: We need a good group of girls to hang out with.
Dude 2:
I totally agree.
It would nice to have cool females around that we could go out with regularly.
From here we proceed to discuss all the potential benefits that would go along with having a cool group of platonic female friends: (1) they could introduce you to other cool women that you could be potentially be non-platonic with, (2) when you go out with girls you have immediate street credibility because people assume (quite rightly) that being a serial murderer and having good looking female friends are mutually exclusive, (3) they could provide you with valuable insights and perhaps prevent you from dressing like an asshole, and (4) probably most importantly, sometimes it’s nice not to be surrounded by dong. Then the truth inevitable sets in:
Dude 2: Of course you realize that this will never happen right?
Dude 1: Because if they were cool enough to be our friends and were attractive we would try to hook up with them?
Dude 2: Yep.
Dude 1: …and if they were ugly we wouldn’t want to hang out with them.
Dude 2: Yep.
Dude 1: Sounds good in theory though.
Thus, the dream of the hot platonic friend dies.
On a related note. I absolutely never meet women these days. Or if I do they are either horrible or completely wrong for me. At this point I’m actually getting pretty angsty about it. The worst part is this town is full of beautiful girls, covered up with them. I would blame my horribly misogynistic blog… only no one reads it.
3 comments:
I don't know Mike, I think it's an entirely possible scenario. You are simply not looking at it the right way.
First of all, groups can't have platonics, only individuals. the whole idea of a platonic friend is to hook up with their friends. That being said, regardless of how attractive and cool someone is, there is usually an X-factor that keeps certain people from hooking up.
I think the most common way of forming platonic friendships is the "don't shit where you sleep" rule.
For Example: A coworker probably shouldn't be a target for hooking up, but would make a great platonic friend. You are around each other without having to make dates, share common interests (work mostly), yada yada yada. And while this may lead to some sexual tension, the societal norms condemning interoffice shenanigans should provide just enough pressure to keep them from going anywhere. And Bam! Platonic girlfriend.
does that put me in the ugly group?? damn....
So after reading your post I took a look at all my "friends" via facebook to see what might be out there. (What is it with people in relationships always trying to fix single people up? I am awful at it but continue to suggest possibilities even after several botched attempts of matchmaking, and telling you I wouldn't do it anymore.) After careful examination I came to the following conclusions:
1. I am getting old (most of my girlfriend's names are now followed by their husband's names.)
2. I have too much time on my hands this summer and should put my efforts towards something productive.
3. A lot of available single girls are single for a reason --- they are bat-shit crazy. Count your blessings.
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